The weather has been cold, snowy and crappy, and I am so ready for spring. Unfortunately, the dreaded “polar vortex” is heading our way yet again, and we will be in the deep freeze until sometime in March. This does not make me happy.
Following is a list of some stupid things I’ve heard people say to me this winter (most do not live in Minnesota) and my responses to their silly statements.
1. “When it’s hot in August, you’ll be missing the cold.” [My Mom in California] – I love you Mom, but are you mental? Miss wind chills of -30???!!! No. That will never happen.
2. “Oh, it’s been really hot here. The temperature was 90 the other day! I’d rather have your cold than our hot weather.” [My sister in California] – Did you seriously just say that to me?
3. “This is god’s judgment on an ungodly world.” [Religious Neighbor] – That’s just silly…And a bit stupid, really.
4. “The Polar Vortex is returning, right now it appears it will be over us for the next two weeks. Something to look forward to!“ [Local Meteorologist, joking] – That is NOT funny.
5. “Bet you miss California right now!” [My brother] – Does not deserve a response, just a blank stare.
I’ve met a lot of people online. Most have been quite nice, some have been not so nice. I’ve met people who I can be relatively sure are being real about who they are, and I’ve met many who I have serious doubts about. Being online has taught me a lot about trust and about how deeply lost people can become when they enter the online “universe”. Unfortunately, I have to say that since I’ve been active on the internet I’ve become a bit jaded, not believing that everyone is who they say they are.
As a writer, the internet provides a wealth of information. Not only the ability to be able to readily research places, myths and legends, but also because it provides a wealth of personalities from whom spring countless inspiration for stories.
The following is a list of 10 personality types I’ve met online. Perhaps you’ve met some of these personalities as well?
- The Drama Queen or King. This personality tops my list as the all time writer’s dream. This person is generally a female, but I have seen instances where a male could be termed this as well. This type of person thrives off of drama, whether in real life or online. If there is no real drama present in this person’s life, they will seek it out or create it. The most extreme example I’ve witnessed is a person who faked their own death. It doesn’t matter to this type of person who gets hurt in the process, as long as they receive attention. These people are mostly harmless, but annoying, and if you think life in general has enough bullshit drama of it’s own, steer clear of the Drama Queen at all costs.
- The Fun Flirt. Probably most of us have done this at one time or another. The fun flirt is selective about who they flirt with, and flirting is mostly done in a joking manner, mostly with someone they are familiar or friendly with. Most of these people are quite charming, and often cute in the way they present themselves. They are complimentary to the person they are flirting with, and very rarely serious. These people make many friends online, but generally no serious relationships. To this type of person, it’s all good fun, real life is separate from online. The one problem that can occur from this type of flirting is that some may not understand it’s all in good fun, and take what is said seriously. This can lead to some awkward conversations and possible hurt feelings.
- The Creepy Flirt. If you’re a woman, you’ve undoubtedly encountered this person. This personality typically flirts with anyone who will give him or her the time of day (and sometimes, will hit on people who don’t). This type of flirt takes things way too far, instead of being complimentary they become vulgar, and seem to think that it’s acceptable behavior. Some become angry when confronted or told to stop, but most will just move on to someone else. Mostly harmless and easy to block and ignore.
- The Fake Identity. Thinks nothing of pretending to be someone else online. Usually takes photos of models or celebrities, but many times will steal photos of real people and make up an identity around them. These people are the ones who bug me the most because I really don’t like liars or people who have a complete disregard for other people’s feelings, lives or safety. (Thankfully, now Catfish exists and has made these people easier to spot.)
- The Over-Sexed/Always Horny. This applies to both men and women. More often than not, this person is in the well over 30 category. Most of the time these people hide behind the anonymity of the internet, but there are a few who are upfront about who they are and what they want. Most of the people I’ve met online who are part of this group are either married or in a stable relationship and will become very hostile if you question them about how they can do this behind their significant other’s back. These people are creepy, but again, that’s what the blocking button is for, right?
- The Fast Friend/Manipulator/Backstabber. This person I am quite familiar with. This person comes on fast and strong, appealing to your vanity and convincing you that you both have so much in common, when in reality, you are polar opposites. This person overshares and tells you “I’ve never told anyone this before”. This person is very manipulative, and will turn from a ‘close friend’ into an enemy if you dare do anything they don’t agree with. This person is highly unstable and should you encounter them, avoid at all costs.
- The Preacher. We all know this kind of person in real life, but online they take on a whole new level of obnoxiousness. Generally religious, they think they know everything about you and how you should live your life. They aren’t interested in anything other than “saving” you and when you resist and tell them you aren’t interested in what they’re selling, they act offended and claim “persecution”. There really is no winning with these people.
- The Hypocrite. Now, if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all fallen under this category to some extent at one time or another. We are human, after all. The type of hypocrite I’m talking about here doesn’t see themselves that way, and will tell you they are just “standing up for insert cause/religion here”. This type of person usually spreads lies, hatred, their view of morality, and/or scams people. In general, they are royal douchebags. Usually they are called out on their behavior and when they are they won’t admit to being a hypocrite. Instead they claim they are being lied about or play the “persecution” card. Avoid at all costs.
- The Delusional Liar. This person thinks very highly of himself or herself. They have enormous egos, claim fantastic life experiences that defy logic, and think everyone they meet is either infatuated or “in love” with them. Very annoying and unstable. Avoid at all costs. (I speak from experience. Another post for another day.)
- The Tragic Liar. This person is a mix of the Drama Queen and the Identity Thief. They generally can be spotted by their tragic lives, the more horrible the better, and will often steal another person’s photos. These people thrive off of attention and like to form “deep” relationships with people online. When the Tragic Liar is found out to be a fake, they leave a lot of hurt feelings and questions behind. A lot of people feel pity for them, but I don’t. As someone who has had to help a friend get over the shock of finding out that they’ve been deceived, believe me, there is no pity to be had for the tragic liar. I don’t care what their damage is. They suck.
I realize I’ve just scratched the surface of all the different and various personalities there are out there inhabiting “Internetland”. Most people I’ve met don’t fall into just one category. Of course, most humans don’t fall into just one category, either. That’s what makes life, and the internet, interesting.