In the past few months I’ve lost 3 people in my life. My father to leukemia in October, my father in law to a heart attack in December, and yesterday, my beautiful 25 year old niece to a car accident. I wish I could feel anything other than what I am feeling right now…such an overwhelming sense of profound sorrow that it hurts. I feel sorrow not only for the loss of such a beautiful, talented and funny young woman, but also for my sister who lost her only daughter yesterday. In this time of grief, my only hope is that people do not preach to my family about their religious beliefs. I know there are many who will think that it is in the best interest of the person grieving to share their “spiritual wisdom” with that person, but that is not the case. A note to religious people: It comes off as rude, uncaring, and self serving when someone forces their beliefs on someone else, especially in a time of grief. So please…Just tell the person you care, that you are there if they need a hug, and show compassion without preaching. As someone who is not religious at all, nothing will make me close off to you more than preaching at me. That’s not me being rude or antagonistic, it’s me stating a fact. We live. We die. And right now, all I can say is this: Death sucks.
I will only post images, featuring the words of others tonight. I’m afraid that if I write out my thoughts in my own words, the words will come out all wrong. I will say this, though… I am tired of cruelty to the grieving, the lack of compassion when someone is clearly in pain. This world is dark enough without some people pouring salt into the wounds of those who are already in pain. How can some people be so terribly cruel to those who are hurting, claiming they are only telling the “truth” and reveling in their self righteousness? I just don’t get it, and I never will.
Morning has come, my head’s in a fog
Was awakened by the wind and the howl of a dog
Forgot to turn up the furnace, the room was like ice
Yet under the covers it was so cozy and nice
Didn’t want to get up, it was so warm in bed
But the dawn approached and the cats had to be fed
So I threw off the covers, shivered in the icy air
Stretched my body and ran my hands through my hair
Started the coffee, watched the sun rise
Now I sit here pondering how fast each morning flies.
The weather has been cold, snowy and crappy, and I am so ready for spring. Unfortunately, the dreaded “polar vortex” is heading our way yet again, and we will be in the deep freeze until sometime in March. This does not make me happy.
Following is a list of some stupid things I’ve heard people say to me this winter (most do not live in Minnesota) and my responses to their silly statements.
1. “When it’s hot in August, you’ll be missing the cold.” [My Mom in California] – I love you Mom, but are you mental? Miss wind chills of -30???!!! No. That will never happen.
2. “Oh, it’s been really hot here. The temperature was 90 the other day! I’d rather have your cold than our hot weather.” [My sister in California] – Did you seriously just say that to me?
3. “This is god’s judgment on an ungodly world.” [Religious Neighbor] – That’s just silly…And a bit stupid, really.
4. “The Polar Vortex is returning, right now it appears it will be over us for the next two weeks. Something to look forward to!“ [Local Meteorologist, joking] – That is NOT funny.
5. “Bet you miss California right now!” [My brother] – Does not deserve a response, just a blank stare.
It snowed more than they said it would last night. I wish they’d get their facts straight.
The temperature is well below zero this morning. I hate the polar vortex.
I question the sanity of anyone who likes this weather.
I question the sanity of me for living here in the winter.
There are 56 days until the first day of spring. Yes, I’m counting.
Today I’m glad I work from home, because driving in the snow sucks.
Blogs are great for avoiding things you don’t want to do…like work.
Why can’t I win the lottery so I can be done with this work stuff forever? Oh right…I never play the lottery.
Two cups of coffee, and I still feel quite out of it. Hopefully the third cup will jump start my brain.
I sit here, listening to the sound of the heater’s hum
Hoping for something to write, but the words won’t seem to come
Sometimes I feel so lost here, as though I don’t belong
Insecurities overtake me, and my thoughts come out all wrong
Some people think they know it all, their words come out as knives
I wonder if they consider, how they affect other people’s lives
It saddens me when someone leaves, because they are in pain
I wish that I could help them, convince them to remain
Because those who’s words are toxic, and are nothing but unkind
They’re not worth the time or worry, for they are so very blind
To people who are hurting, who need only one kind word
Whose pain bleeds into cyber space, yet their voices are unheard
Kindness could change everything, civility at the very least
This world would be so much better, if we’d all spread a little peace.
This just came out of me tonight. It’s been a day.